This week is going great! NOT. I can't tell you how horrible this day has been! I call a do over. Well it could be worse. At least Jeremy is here to fix the things that have gone wrong. I am running on no sleep. Poor Miss M has not been sleeping again. She is not cranky, or in a horrible mood. She just doesn't sleep. I am told this is "normal" for Autistic ... ugh that A word ... children. Last night Caty Innie House Fly (her name of the day) was up singing about nothing in particular. Although I like sleep, I love hearing her sing.
I have to admit, I feel terrible sometimes. I feel W gets the short stick. Since we've been blessed with M & J, and with M always having special needs, I feel like he has to "be a big brother" more than other big brothers. He is AWESOME at this BTW, but he needs more Mommy time. I know this. I feel sad that I have to juggle things with only two hands so to speak. I do make it to all special school events, and it is great that to see his face light up when he sees me show up "unexpectedly", but sometimes when she is screaming because he is in her space or wants a toy he is playing with, I get to the point where I ask him to just let her have it or say, "Sorry hunny, but she just doesn't want hugs right now". He gets it, but only as much as a 5 year old can understand. I have a "Date" planned for me and W to go to the park and have a picnic before it gets way to cold. Next sunny Saturday it is me and him :)
J will be 11 months this month!!! I can't believe this year has flown. He is such a clam, happy little baby. He is so full of life, and makes this really cute faces. He doesn't talk much, but he grunts his words and babbles. I try to show people what I mean but I can't do it. It's like he talks without moving his lips. He makes kissy faces, serious faces, and goofy faces. NEVER for the camera though. I would love to capture him doing these so I can show him later. I love that all of my children have their own personalities. Yes they may be like Daddy or Myself, but their personalities are all their own and I am so blessed that Heavenly Father chose us to be their parents.
Thanks for reading,
Mama H.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Why did I do this?
Why did I stop being involved with her little play group friends? It probably has hindered her more than anything. I felt sad seeing these children, most of them younger, doing things M wasn't. Looking back, I am not even sure the other parents noticed at the time, but I did. I was selfish to pull back and away from these women, who's children were a good thing for M. The only thing I can say now is "oh well, my loss". BUT it is not just my loss, it is hers.
At the same time though, I keep finding my self thinking, especially during the good moments, "What if the Developmental Neurologist got this wrong"? I KNOW that she wasn't, but it is during those good moments, the moments she feels she wants to let us in to her world, that I find myself saying that.
Halloween was great for my little Sensory Seeker. A few things were too much for her, but Daddy rescued her (lol). She was a girl on a mission, and her mission? CANDY. She wore a part of her costume, but that was okay. She likes HER clothes. She only said thank you to a few old ladies. I think she just sensed they were motherly and wise. Only ONE lady got offended she didn't say Trick or Treat, or thank you, or speak when she was spoken too. Jeremy just said, "Happy Halloween". I am grateful he was with her, because I probably would have educated her a little.
Things were off yesterday. W had a half day at school, and I suck at remembering (and figuring out) when exactly he should get the bus. M didn't go to sleep until 3:30 in the morning because she was on sensory overload, and J was cranky! It was a lot for him too. To day seems to be going well. I finally got M to get dressed and we are going to see Pop. The kids love their Pop. On a Mommy note, I get my phone today. Woo Whoo. This means LOTS of phone calls to make Monday. I have to call Daycares to find a place that will take an unpotty trained 2 year old with special needs, EI, TBS where M will be attending in May, and a friend about therapies for M. Still on the fence about EI since she will only get it for 6 months and a few other Mom's in the area told me that EI more often than not cancelled their appointments.
Anyway, thanks for reading!
Mama H.
At the same time though, I keep finding my self thinking, especially during the good moments, "What if the Developmental Neurologist got this wrong"? I KNOW that she wasn't, but it is during those good moments, the moments she feels she wants to let us in to her world, that I find myself saying that.
Halloween was great for my little Sensory Seeker. A few things were too much for her, but Daddy rescued her (lol). She was a girl on a mission, and her mission? CANDY. She wore a part of her costume, but that was okay. She likes HER clothes. She only said thank you to a few old ladies. I think she just sensed they were motherly and wise. Only ONE lady got offended she didn't say Trick or Treat, or thank you, or speak when she was spoken too. Jeremy just said, "Happy Halloween". I am grateful he was with her, because I probably would have educated her a little.
Things were off yesterday. W had a half day at school, and I suck at remembering (and figuring out) when exactly he should get the bus. M didn't go to sleep until 3:30 in the morning because she was on sensory overload, and J was cranky! It was a lot for him too. To day seems to be going well. I finally got M to get dressed and we are going to see Pop. The kids love their Pop. On a Mommy note, I get my phone today. Woo Whoo. This means LOTS of phone calls to make Monday. I have to call Daycares to find a place that will take an unpotty trained 2 year old with special needs, EI, TBS where M will be attending in May, and a friend about therapies for M. Still on the fence about EI since she will only get it for 6 months and a few other Mom's in the area told me that EI more often than not cancelled their appointments.
Anyway, thanks for reading!
Mama H.
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